


Other Half, The

by kiss_me_cassie



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-12-31
Updated: 2003-12-31
Packaged: 2019-05-15 12:40:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14790698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiss_me_cassie/pseuds/kiss_me_cassie
Summary: Sequel toBecause You're You- This time, Josh talks with Sam





	Other Half, The

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Spoilers:** ITSOTG, all of S3  
**Summary:** This time, Josh talks with Sam  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine. AS and Co. own all of it.  
**Feedback:** yes, please!  
**Notes:** Follows "Because You’re You", but can be by itself too.

\----

“Hey Sam.”

I look up as Josh saunters into my office and plops into one of the visitor chairs.

“Hey.”

“What’re you doin’?”

He seems distracted. For the scant minute he has been here, he has glanced at the door no less then three times. “Waiting for Toby to finish deciding if we’ll use Andi’s inserts.”

“Huh?” He is definitely distracted.

“Josh? Did you come in here for some purpose? Because you seem very interested in my doorway.”

“Sorry.” He finally focuses on me. “Was that Donna in here a few minutes ago?” He appears indifferent, but the continued glances at the door show something else.

“Yeah. She was telling me about the job offer from Casey Reid.”

This bit of information gets his full attention. He seems surprised. “You know him?”

“Well, I don’t know him personally. I know OF him. He does internet sites on government affairs. Very classy, not tell-all exposes. More of the Everyman’s Guide to Politics.”

“Hmm.” Again, he is glancing toward the doorway. I wonder how much Donna has told him. I wonder what he thinks about it.

“We got news tonight that Billy was killed in the raid.”

The quick change in subject does not faze me. I have learned to adapt to a strange tempo in the White House. “I heard.”

“His wife was devastated. Collapsed in CJ’s office. Donna was there when we got the news. She looked a little shell-shocked.” I think this is probably an understatement. Memories of another night of waiting come to me. Donna’s earlier mood was not simply a reaction to Josh’s disinterest about the job offer. She was back in that waiting room.

“I tried to imagine what it must be like for his wife. Not  knowing. And then finding out that he’ll never be coming home again. It must be horrible to be the one left behind.” I finally understand where Josh is going with this. Josh, who almost died. Josh, who briefly met with Stanley this evening. Josh, who has desperately tried to piece his life back together. “Donna. When I was … when IT happened … Rosslyn. Was she … ?”

He is unable to finish. The scars are on more than just his chest. They are on his psyche, and unable to cope with his own emotions, he now strives to understand Donna’s. I do not know if I can help him. 

“She took it hard. We all did, but I think she took it hardest. She came to the hospital to help you and then found out you had been hurt. I don’t think she really understood what was happening.” I try to relate to Josh how difficult it was for Donna in those fourteen hours we waited for word on his condition. I hope he can understand. “Haven’t you and Donna ever talked about this?”

“No. We’ve tried, but … No.”

This is their problem. Not their jobs. Not the secret they share. Not Amy. Four years and their lives are hopelessly entwined. They banter. They share. They are two halves. Yet they cannot express in words what they are to one another. Their fears keep them apart.

“Josh, I really think you need to talk to Donna.”

I can see on his face that he is uncomfortable. He does not want to discuss this. Yet his fear of losing Donna is greater. “I think she’s going to take this other job. If she took it, she’d have normal hours and she wouldn’t have to deal with things like this. No governmental hot spots. No assassination attempts on the president and his staff. No death.”

“On the other hand, she wouldn’t be making the big bucks she does as your assistant.” The attempt at humor seems to work and the mood is lightened.  “You know, we were talking about some other things while she was in here. She mentioned Amy.” I wait to see if he will react.

“Did she start in again with the ‘lovemaking’? Because, really, I don’t think its any of her business. And you wouldn’t believe the stuff I had to put up with from Leo and Margaret because of that.”

“Seems to me that Leo didn’t mind so much. Didn’t he tell you to go away and forget about work? And look how well you took that advice.” It is ironic that Josh has already begun to manufacture reasons to keep a distance from Amy. It makes me wonder what their true relationship is. “Does Amy make you happy?”

“Yeah.” His answer is quick, sure. But his eyes give a different answer.

“Because I always thought that the woman you’re in love with should make you happy. It shouldn’t be a fight about who is right and who is wrong. It should be give and take. Lisa and I? Turns out we really didn’t like each other much. Each of us always had to be right. Life with one another was a competition. It was one of our biggest problems. You and Amy, you’re not like that though, right?”

“No.” This time his answer is slower, less sure. He is beginning to realize that his relationship with her may not be as real as he wants it to be. His real relationships are here, in this White House, with these people. With me and CJ and Toby. And with Donna.

“Just think about what I’ve said tonight. OK? And talk to Donna. It will help.”

“Yeah. Thanks, Sam. Goodnight.” He walks out of my office slowly, without the usual Lyman swagger, his mind on more than UN speeches and missing reporters.

“Goodnight.” I switch off the lights and close my office door with a soft click. It has been an odd night of revelations. But it is late and it is time to go home.

\-----

Sequel: Give and Take


End file.
